Sooo... there's really no way around it, so here goes - last week, I blew myself up! Basically, I made a bomb... the kind that EXPLODES. I feel like a real dum-dum, a big stupid arse - so I'm sharing this with you, because the reality is pretty darn harsh. Knowing how much I love cleaning, and the art of mixology it's really no wonder I attempted this ridiculous task. I thought it a genius idea to mix my favorite cleaning concoction and store it in a cute air-tight jar made of glass. I'd make a fabulous label for it and place it on my cleaning shelf. It would be my famous-making, go-to mixture of MRS. CLEAN... it'd bring me notoriety and perhaps wealth! Right there at the kitchen counter, I mixed my usual mix. I funneled it into the jar + fastened with a click. Smug and proud, I began to wash my hands... then out of nowhere there was a ground breaking BAM! I didn't know what hit me, I was too afraid to look. I kept my eyes pursed shut, screamed + shook. I could feel the chemicals burning my skin, I heard my kids screaming and my hubby ran in. He covered my face in a with a towel, I was bleeding from the shrapnel. I was soaked to the bone... my skin feeling like I had just skidded across gravel. The entire house wreaked of bleach - covered in shards of glass, and hazardous to everyone and their feet. The reality of what I had done began to sink in - once safe and cleaned up I gathered my family kissed them, hugged them and apologized to no end for what I did. To say that this incident has set me back a bit is a wild understatement. My failure to rally from it perhaps is karma's repayment. I've been spending lots of time reeling over my personal absentmindedness. Spending too much time reflecting on self doubt, lack of confidence and my excruciating tendency toward indecisiveness.


The moral of the story is, don't try and outsmart the chemists, think before acting, and acknowledge that life is precious. LIFE IS PRECIOUS!!!

The saga continues... deep breath, here comes part two.


Annnnnnd then, there was Sunday night. If you're a parent you know the pain when your little ones are sad, and I mean TRULY sad. Watching your kids struggle with life is enough to make you break. It's heart aching to see them tested for how much they can take. Our move to Hawaii has been a bit challenging. Starting over, getting settled + finding where you belong can leave even the most resilient person unraveling. For my children, this has been the hardest. Watching them wilt is the pain that's been the sharpest. So, after a long night of talking things out and wiping up sad tears - we had a FULL (queen size) bed packed with snuggly-hungry, sleepy dears. We all went to sleep with heavy hearts, but confident that the morning would bring a new day. Little did I know, something else was going to get in the way....

THUD!!! My eyes flew open, I couldn't breath, my whole body clenched. I had been shoved out of the bed, hitting the hardwood floor straight on my chest! I could barely move, but was writhing in pain... all I could think of was..."NO!! Not AGAIN!!" Once I caught my breath and was able to speak, I muttered "Timmy help me..." He got me off the floor and back into the bed, carried the others out, as I hugged my chest and carefully wept. It hurt to breathe, it hurt to move - I somehow fell asleep thinking "Oh !@#$, what did I DO?!" The minute my eyes opened I knew I hadn't a choice, off to the ER I went with barely a noise. 

My diagnosis? A left anterior and posterior chest wall (blunt chest trauma) contusion - basically excruciating pain, the kind that leads to delusion! I was sent home with a handful of painkillers and a Voldyne 5000. Told I'd be in a lot of pain for a long time and eventually I'd heal. I'm thinking... wait, what? This cannot be real!! Oh, it is. It's real. Me and my volumetric lung exerciser are proof that this is, in fact, the real deal. Every hour on the hour my wits are tested substantially - working my lungs out via the voldyne 5000 (aka: torture device) to maintain and regain my lung capacity. 

I know, this too shall pass. I have faith in the universe (DIANE) that it will. 36 is just far too young to be stricken down, exploded, and chest-ill!!

I ask of you nothing more than a mere mini moment of your time - If you could + if you can spare, send us some super-good, glittery JUJU?! What ever magic you can beam us, would be truly divine!

Thanks for listening!



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©Kelley Lilien 2008-2013