When all else fails, throw a tassel on it! Preferably one with charisma + an enviably high-spirited enigma. Whomever said inanimate objects can't speak for themselves - I firm fistedly oppose!!! My stance is unyielding + THIS is how it goes...
EVERY object you own should bring forth copious amounts of joy. We all know this, yes? If not, then it'd be my highest recommendation to engage + employ. Here's the thing - what if an object we once loved is beginning to lose it's ever-joyous bling?! That's where the chains come in - the chains of LOVE... they will solve this very problem and it'll feel something like a highly intoxicating hug. So ditch the drink + choose your friend and you're one step closer to a blingless bag on the mend!